


Shared Fantasies

by selfreliantscientist



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-17
Updated: 2013-10-17
Packaged: 2017-12-29 16:47:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1007739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/selfreliantscientist/pseuds/selfreliantscientist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cecil and Carlos have a wonderful relationship, one that neither of them would give up for the world.<br/>Even if they do both harbor fantasies about a certain five-headed someone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shared Fantasies

Cecil was very happy with Carlos. He could not emphasize that enough; he was _very happy_ with Carlos. He couldn’t imagine that there was anyone who could make him happier than Carlos did. Whatever fantasies his thoughts might stray to when he wasn’t paying close attention, at the end of the day being with Carlos was all that mattered.

But still.

The mayoral election campaigns were in full swing. You couldn’t go in for your municipally mandated slice at Big Rico’s without seeing the posters. And Cecil was playing the mayoral campaign statements on his show, so he’d finally gotten to hear the Hiram McDaniels’ voice(s)...

Much as he might be charmed by an image (those burning sets of eyes!), Cecil was an aurally focused individual. There was a reason he’d gone into radio. Pictures were, at most, a gentle reminder of Hiram’s magnetism. Listening to him speak was far more direct, more severe, more _enthralling_. More apt to stick with him, to settle into his being so that, even when Cecil had moved on to other, more pertinent, thoughts, the memory of those honeyed voices would come back to him.

Still, Hiram was nothing more than a fantasy, a charismatic stranger. What Cecil had with Carlos, that was _real_. And Cecil was very happy with Carlos.

***

Carlos was the first thing Cecil saw when he opened his eyes in the morning. Cecil thought that he would never get tired of this, that Carlos would never lose his magical effect of making Cecil feel that everything was okay, even when everything most assuredly wasn’t.

Yesterday had been terrible, what with the SrexCorp takeover and the angels disappearing and Intern Vithia ascending into heaven and Cecil not being allowed to properly report on _any_ of those events, so that he’d left the station that evening feeling terrible, feeling that Night Vale was in grave danger and he had failed in his duty to provide the public service he felt he owed his community.

But Carlos had spent the night, and his presence was extremely comforting.

Cecil shifted, moving slightly closer to Carlos and placing an arm over him. Carlos was _gorgeous_ like this. Well, Carlos was gorgeous generally, but Cecil particularly loved seeing him asleep, the perpetually concerned expression he usually wore replaced with one of complete calm, his lovely limbs splayed in a splendorous array of directions.

Carlos moved in response to Cecil’s touch, and for a moment Cecil thought he’d woken the other man, but after a moment Carlos settled into a new position, cuddled against Cecil and still peacefully asleep. Cecil laid his head back down on the pillow and let himself close his eyes again, hoping to drift back into his own peaceful slumber, to spend another couple of hours avoiding the horrors that would certainly come with the new day.

As he slipped away from consciousness, from control of his own thoughts, the memory of Hiram’s campaign statement came back to him, and he found himself dreaming of that magnificent dragon. In Cecil’s dream, he was being held by magnificent claws, dangerous and gentle, sliding along his skin, just a hair’s pressure away from piercing it. He held a head between his hands, and four other heads surrounded him, breathing flames that were warm and comforting, and he found himself enveloped in soft, leathery wings. He felt compelled to speak, to at least whisper the name of this glorious being who had graced Cecil with his presence--

“Hiram.”

The vocalization woke him up, and he opened his eyes to find Carlos shifting against him, stretching, and he thought, _Oh no, I’ve woken him by calling out another man’s name_ , (for some value of “man”), _what can I possibly do to make up for this?_

Moments passed, and though Carlos continued stretching, he didn’t open his eyes. Eventually he nuzzled against Cecil once more, opened his mouth, and said, “Oh, Hiram.”

For a moment, Cecil froze. Equal parts concern and relief mixed inside him. He hadn’t actually spoken earlier, he realized. It hadn’t even sounded like his voice. It had been Carlos, beautiful Carlos, who called out Hiram’s name while he slept. Cecil wasn’t a terrible boyfriend after all.

But then… Cecil’s boyfriend was calling out another man’s name (for some value of “man”) while he slept. Cecil felt that he should be upset by this, but if he’d very nearly done the same thing, nearly called out the very same name… he just couldn’t conjure any truly hurt responses. He could hardly be jealous of Carlos’ fantasies if they were fantasies he shared, now could he?

In fact, the more he thought about it, the more Cecil saw Carlos’ interest in Hiram as a good thing. Before, he hadn’t been willing to mention Hiram to Carlos, worried that it would result in conflict and hurt feelings. But having a willing partner to share in a fantasy, someone to play along, was always beneficial. He could broach the subject, and see what he and Carlos could do to bring the fantasy to life inasmuch as it was possible when neither one of them was a five-headed dragon. Carlos was wonderfully inventive; Cecil was sure he could come up with something.

Maybe they could just talk about Hiram, to each other. Cecil shivered slightly when he thought about telling Carlos how he imagined those wings would feel against his skin, speculating about the nature of Hiram’s tongues, wanting to gaze straight into those piercing eyes and feel at least one pair staring straight back. He thought about Carlos not being jealous, Carlos finding Cecil’s ideas intriguing, Carlos wanting to hear more, Carlos being so interested in what Cecil had to say that he would break into his illicit pen stash in order to make notes.

Cecil wanted to hear what Carlos would have to say about Hiram’s appeal, to ask him questions and hear his educated, insightful speculation. Carlos was so good at explaining things. He probably had all sorts of ideas about what a dragon might like, or what it might be like to touch one.

It seemed a shame to wake Carlos, when sleep could be so sweet and wakefulness so harsh, but Cecil wanted to talk to Carlos about Hiram, to share his previously secret, hidden desires and allow Carlos to do the same. So he lifted his head until he could kiss Carlos on the cheek, and said, “Good morning, Carlos.”

Carlos did not immediately stir, so Cecil moved his hand into Carlos’ luxurious hair and, stroking gently, spoke again. “Carlos. It’s morning. Time to wake up.” And then, because he couldn’t resist, and because he thought it might be a pleasant experience to wake up to, he kissed Carlos again, on the mouth.

“Hiram?” Carlos muttered quietly, before opening his eyes. Cecil watched his expression carefully, keeping a gentle smile on his own face. Carlos’ eyebrows knit together in confusion, eyes jumping over Cecil’s face for a moment before his expression softened and he returned the smile. “Oh. Good morning, Cecil.

“I was… dreaming…” he continued, again bringing his eyebrows together, but this time in an expression that Cecil recognized as one of concentration, rather than confusion.

“Oh?” Asked Cecil, feigning ignorance. “What about?”

Carlos’s eyes gazed into an empty corner for a while before he replied. They widened, briefly, and then Carlos looked perfectly, deliberately calm. When he spoke to Cecil, though, he pulled his features into an expression of… concentration, again, yes, but mixed with concern. “I don’t remember." He smiled, and placed his hand gently on Cecil’s face. “I guess it wasn’t that important.”

Cecil grinned, pleased with the physical contact and mischievously enjoying the knowledge that he knew a secret that Carlos thought he had hidden. He nudged his head forward until his lips were just brushing against Carlos’, and said, “You said something just before you woke up.”

“Hm?” Carlos distractedly responded, pressing back against Cecil. Instead of returning the kiss, though, Cecil kept talking.

“Yeah,” he said, pulling back slightly, still grinning. “You said, ‘Hiram.’”

Carlos’ jaw dropped, and he briefly remained perfectly still, color draining from his skin, until he removed his hand from Cecil’s face and used it to cover his own. “Oh god, Cecil! I’m so sorry! I-- I--”

Carlos sat up, turning away from Cecil, cradling his head in his hands. “I’m horrible,” he went on. “I can’t believe I… I’m sure it… I mean, I would never… I’m sorry, Cecil. I know that… that was inexcusable.”

Cecil tried not to laugh as he sat up and ran a hand along Carlos’ back, eventually resting it against his shoulder. “Carlos,” he said quietly, “It’s okay.”

Carlos didn’t move, didn’t remove his head from his hands. “Of course you’d say that. You’re… you’re so patient, and infinitely forgiving, and… and I don’t deserve you.”

“Hey.” Cecil drew in closer, pressing a kiss to Carlos’ neck. “It’s not like that.”

Carlos just curled in on himself.

“Actually…” Cecil wrapped his arms around Carlos, as best he could given Carlos’ current position, and, grinning, whispered into his ear, “Hiram McDaniels was a… significant part of my own dream this morning.”

Again, Carlos froze. Then, he slowly lifted his head and turned back to face Cecil. “Um,” he said, “Significant how?”

It was Cecil’s turn to cover his face. “He… was holding me in his claws. Not… not in a scary way. It was… it was nice.” Admitting this was more embarrassing than Cecil had expected. He glanced at Carlos, saw a calm, curious expression with the usual hint of concern, and though a part of him regretted ever starting, another part of him determined that the best thing to do was keep going. “Also his wings. I liked touching his wings. They were,” Cecil took a breath, trying to find a better word to say what he wanted to, and failing, so that he just finished with, “soft.”

Cecil forced himself not to look away from Carlos, to watch as the scientist processed this new information. He almost imagined he could see gears turning, that Carlos’ pupils darting from place to place were direct indicators of the inner workings of his brain. Carlos’ expression was steady… calm, concerned, and presumably at least partly a mask to try to protect Cecil’s feelings. Or to protect Carlos _from_ Cecil’s feelings, perhaps.

“So…” Carlos started, his expression unchanging, “You’re not mad.” He didn’t inflect it like a question, but Cecil knew he’d better answer anyway.

“Not in the slightest,” he said.

A moment later, Carlos had collapsed into a hug, head pressed against Cecil’s chest. “Oh god, Cecil, you have no idea how relieved I am.”

Cecil ran a hand through Carlos’ hair, stroking his scalp in reassurance. “Actually, I think I can imagine.”

“I was so worried,” Carlos expounded. “I thought I’d hurt you, I thought you’d never forgive me, I thought you had every right to just kick me out of your apartment and I’d have to walk home naked and I’d _deserve_ it because you are wonderful and I couldn’t bear the thought of causing you distress and I felt horrible I mean who does that kind of thing to someone they care about?” He took a deep, shaky breath. “I never want to do anything to hurt you.”

“Carlos. I will never be distressed by the leanings of your subconscious. We can’t all control our dreams. It takes years of training and continual practice.”

“You’re better than I deserve,” Carlos said.

“Hm.” Cecil took a moment to consider how to steer the conversation in the direction he wanted it to go in, considering that the initial revelation that he’d overheard Carlos’ subconscious exploits had been met with such an intense response. “So, um…”

Carlos lifted his head, looking directly at Cecil, his expression calm, but… determined. “What is it?” He asked in an encouraging voice.

“Well… I was thinking… I think I’d like to talk to you about Hiram.”

A corner of Carlos’ mouth rose slightly. “Really? What, specifically, would you like to talk about?”

“Uhh… Well, for starters… do you think you’d mind telling me, specifically, what you were dreaming about? Just before I woke you up, when you spoke… If you remember, that is.”

Carlos covered his eyes with a hand, but almost immediately brought it away and looked back to Cecil. “Yeah. I remember. It was, um… I wasn’t… _one hundred percent_ asleep. I was still dreaming, but I was… aware of physical sensations.”

Cecil remembered Carlos cuddling up to him before he woke up. “Uh-huh?”

“So, I felt you lying next to me, but I was asleep, so I interpreted the sensation as Hiram lying next to me… Which is kind of ridiculous actually, I mean, you don’t feel anything like him, but… dream logic, what can you do, and his green head was--”

“Wait,” Cecil interrupted. “What do you mean by saying I ‘don’t feel anything like him?’ Carlos, have you… met Hiram McDaniels?”

“Uh,” said Carlos, “Yeah. A little while after he was arrested, the Sheriff’s Secret Police let me examine him.”

“You _examined_ him?”

Cecil was jealous of Carlos for getting to spend time in Hiram’s presence. He’d thought that the dragon was a being of pure fantasy for both of them, but if Carlos had _met_ him, then their situations weren’t at all the same.

“I took some samples, too,” said Carlos.

“What kind of samples?”

“Skin cells, saliva, blood. Stuff that might help us figure out what the deal is with dragons. There’s quite a bit of debate about how their taxonomic classification, and a DNA comparison to other animals could help… although, there are plenty of species whose taxonomic classification is at odds with their genetics, so I don’t know how much the DNA analysis will help to quell the debate.”

“Carlos…” Cecil loved hearing Carlos get lost in science talk that Cecil didn’t completely follow, but he wasn’t going to let go of the whole Carlos-got-to-meet-Hiram-McDaniels-and-I-haven’t-life-is-so-unfair thing. “What was he like?”

“Charming.” Carlos looked off to the side and smiled wistfully. “Most people… for certain values of ‘people’... most people don’t like it when some scientist comes in wanting to take a look at them, rubbing swabs in their mouths and whatnot. But Hiram was… affable about the whole thing. He didn’t complain at all, he was very cooperative and helpful whenever I asked him to shift positions or the like. He even struck up a sort of friendly banter with me. He made me feel like we were old friends who just hadn’t gotten to know each other yet.

“I’m not usually attracted to non-humans, you know. It’s not a physical thing, with Hiram, not really. He just…” Carlos sighed, and looked back to Cecil, who was doing his best to keep his emotions in check. Cecil was starting to feel that being honest with your boyfriend about extra-relationship fantasies was not a good thing and he really should have kept knowledge about what he’d overheard to himself.

“Do you remember, when I first came to town, and you said you’d fallen in love instantly?” Asked Carlos.

Cecil nodded. Of course he remembered. But then, the question wasn’t really a question. It was a reminder, a segue from the subject of Hiram McDaniels to the beginning of Carlos and Cecil’s acquaintance.

“Well, when you first said that, I didn’t think you meant you were actually in love with me. I thought you meant a sort of metaphorical falling in love. The way I interpreted it, I thought you were saying ‘I had my doubts about this stranger but then he smiled and won me over and now I’m eager to help him in his research on my town.’ It came as a little bit of a surprise to me when I realized how seriously you’d meant it, how literal you were.

“So, the way I _thought_ you felt about me, when I heard you say that… That’s how I felt about Hiram, after examining him. I wasn’t literally in love, but I was _intrigued_ , and a little bit eager to get to know him better if given the chance.”

“And if he’d gotten out of jail early enough you’d be waking up next to him instead of me.” Cecil’s voice was quiet, but he couldn’t hold back his terrible fears any more. He should have been upset when Carlos called out in his sleep; he may have won Carlos’ affections in real life, but clearly Hiram still held them in the world of dreams.

“What? Of course not! How could you think that?”

Cecil shook his head. “Carlos. Hiram McDaniels is _literally_ a five-headed dragon. He’s bigger than I am and stronger than I am and he has _wings_ and a _tail_ and _four more heads than I do_. How can I compete with that?”

“CECIL! _You’re_ the one who wanted to talk about him. _You_ kept asking me questions. What’s the big deal now? What changed?”

“I didn’t realize the two of you have a real-world connection.” Cecil’s voice was barely more than a mutter. “He must have made a lasting impression if you’re still dreaming about him.”

“What happened to ‘I’ll never be distressed by the leanings of your subconscious?’”

“I guess I’d just never encountered subconscious leanings that were so distressing.”

“Cecil.”

Cecil closed his eyes, pulled his legs up to his chest, and tried not to cry. This had gone more badly than he could have imagined. Even if he could have gotten over Carlos’ obvious infatuation with Hiram, at this point he’d made it into too much of a thing. What was it he’d read on the radio that one time…? “The deathly silence when an argument has reached a height from which neither party can see a safe way down.” That’s what he was hearing, just then. He had nothing more to say, and Carlos wasn’t saying anything, and Cecil couldn’t imagine that their relationship would still be intact by the morning’s end.

Because his eyes were closed, he didn’t realize Carlos was leaning in to kiss him until those soft lips were gently pressing against his.

No, he thought, he didn’t _want_ Carlos to kiss him just then. Another part of him wondered, since when are there times he doesn’t want Carlos to kiss him?

When Carlos pulled away, Cecil thought, good, while another part of him wondered, what if that was the last kiss they ever shared?

“I’m sorry,” said Carlos. “I won’t mention Hiram anymore. I’ll try to keep him out of my dreams, too, although I don’t have any training in dream control and have found no success with my previous efforts in that field.”

Cecil stayed where he was, eyes closed, thinking about just how badly he’d messed up. He heard Carlos moving around the room, but he was too wrapped up in the horror of the situation to pay attention to what was happening, and he didn’t realize that Carlos was asking him a question until it was too late to hear exactly what that question was. He opened his eyes and asked, “What?”

Carlos was standing in front of him, fully dressed, and asking, “Where’s my lab coat?”

 _Under the couch, where it landed after I flung it off you last night_ , Cecil thought. “I don’t know,” he said.

Carlos frowned. Well, Carlos frowned _more_. His deliberately calm expression had given way to one that was pure concern. “There was an ammeter in the pocket.” He sighed. “Oh well. It’ll turn up. And we should have another one in the lab, somewhere.” He started walking towards the bedroom door.

“Where are you going?” Called Cecil.

Carlos turned around. “I was going to go home. Give us both some time to get over this.”

“But…” Though Carlos hadn’t said anything about breaking up, Cecil couldn’t get out of his head the idea that that was what was happening. If Carlos left the apartment now, Cecil worried that he’d never come back. “You can’t go outside without your lab coat!” He protested.

“Cecil, I am perfectly capable of being outside without a lab coat for the amount of time it would take me to get home. You know this.” Carlos approached the bed and sat down on the edge of it. “Why do you really not want me to leave?”

This whole mess had been caused by Cecil’s overly emotional reactions to things. Saying ‘I’m worried this is the end of our relationship and if you leave I’ll never see you again’ seemed unlikely to make the situation any better. Searching for something to say, Cecil was somewhat horrified with what wound up coming out of his mouth.

“I like to think about lying underneath him. Hiram. I like to imagine his weight pressing down over me, and maybe he’d arch his necks so his heads would be even with mine. I’ll imagine kissing him but I don’t really know how well that would work with a dragon mouth so I tend to gloss over that part.” He watched Carlos’ reaction. There was the calm, controlled expression, but the look of concern was still plainly visible underneath.

“Why are you telling me this?” Carlos asked. His voice wasn’t accusatory. It was… controlled, like his expression. Cecil would have described it as calm, but it wasn’t Carlos’ calm voice, it was the voice Carlos used when he was trying to sound calm.

“I messed everything up when I asked you to talk to me about Hiram and I thought that maybe if I talked about him to you it would even things out a little.” Cecil wasn’t sure if that was the actual reason for what he’d said, or just something plausible-sounding he’d come up with on the spot. “I think I probably could have handled either feeling jealous of you for getting to spend time with Hiram or feeling jealous of Hiram for your affections but suddenly I was feeling both at once and it was too much.” That part, he was reasonably certain, was true.

Carlos was still looking at him, expression still deliberately calm, but significantly less concerned. “You were expecting me to talk about him in a different way than I did.” This time, he actually did use his calm voice.

Cecil nodded.

Leaning towards Cecil, Carlos smiled a little, and though Cecil could tell it was a controlled smile, intended as communication rather than an uninhibited expression of internal joy, it was still something of a relief to see it. “I like to think about climbing onto his back. I imagine I’d ride just between his shoulder blades, in front of his wings. I imagine I’d hug one of his necks for support. And, to feel his scales on my flesh. He has such smooth scales, Cecil.”

When Carlos wrapped his arms around him, Cecil shivered. The two of them tilted down until Cecil was lying beneath Carlos. “You could be on top of him and I’d be below, and I’d be able to feel his cool weight resting on me,” said Cecil.

“He weighs more than three thousand pounds, Cecil. That’s a lot of dragon.”

“Well, I mean, most of his weight would still be on his legs. I don’t want him to crush me…” Cecil trailed off, because he noticed that Carlos was no longer looking at him. Carlos’ eyes were directed at the bedroom wall, not focused on anything in particular. Cecil could tell when his boyfriend was doing calculations in his head. “Hey! Snap out of it!” He slapped Carlos, not hard enough to hurt, just a sharp physical sensation to bring the scientist back to the real world. At times, touching Carlos was the only way to be sure one had his attention.

“I’m sorry! I was just thinking… Hiram has wings, but I don’t know whether or not he can fly. I took measurements, and they don’t seem wide enough to lift his bodyweight, but then, they could move in a different matter to other wings, and I’m not an aerospace expert or an ornithologist so there are plenty of things about wings and flight that I don’t know, but maybe… maybe he could get some lift, by flapping his wings, and that would reduce the pressure his body would exert on you somewhat… But I can try to work that out at another time,” he concluded. Cecil was glad that Carlos had taken to heart the lesson from the last time he’d jumped out of bed in order to start drawing diagrams. Cecil had, perhaps, overreacted, but at least Carlos seemed to have gotten the message.

Besides… “Of course Hiram can fly,” said Cecil.

“Have you seen him fly?”

Cecil shook his head. “No. But, Carlos. What kind of thing has wings but can’t fly?”

“Penguins. Ostriches. Sanitary napkins. Airplanes that have been stripped of their engines. Baby pigeons.”

Scientists had an annoying tendency to take entirely too many things entirely too literally. “Okay, maybe I just think it would be cool if Hiram could fly,” Cecil conceded.

“So do I,” admitted Carlos. He pressed himself onto Cecil, resting most of his weight on the radio broadcaster, something he could do without worrying about crushing anybody. So at least he had that over Hiram. “So… you’d be below, and I’d be above, and Hiram would be between us, literally. But, Cecil, I think we should agree that we will never let Hiram come between us, metaphorically.”

“Never,” Cecil happily agreed. This was far closer to how he’d pictured a conversation with Carlos about Hiram would go. “But… Carlos? Do you think that maybe someday… after the mayoral elections, obviously, when he’s not busy campaigning… do you think we could ask him to have dinner with us?”

Carlos grinned, looking just like he had at that town meeting when Cecil had first fallen in love with him. “Cecil, I don’t even know if he likes human males.”

“You said he acted all charming toward you when you met him.”

“He might have just been being friendly. Or trying to manipulate me. But that doesn’t matter. I don’t think he would even fit inside either of our homes.”

Cecil’s face fell when he realized that Carlos was right. Having Hiram over for dinner just wasn’t practical.

“But… maybe we could invite him to have a picnic with us? There’s that lovely secluded hillside in Mission Grove Park,” suggested Carlos.

“A picnic! Thank you, Carlos. That’s a perfect solution.”

Cecil grinned back at Carlos, who rested his head on Cecil’s chest and mumbled a soft, “You’re welcome.” Cecil laid his arms across Carlos’ back and relaxed his neck, letting his own head fall back easily onto his pillow. He had wanted to get some more sleep this morning, after all.

As he drifted back into sleep, his thoughts drifted to Hiram again. But this time, Hiram was lying on a hillside at sunset, with Carlos astride him, and they were eating something from a basket, and Cecil was explaining how brilliant Carlos had been to present the idea of a picnic.

Carlos was wonderfully inventive. Of course he had come up with something.


End file.
